Day DEUX

As i have given very minor details of my love life in Day-Uno , today i’m giving you full fledge details on my aimer la vie . *Just in case you guys didn’t take french in high school it’s love life in French. Just wanted to give my blog some fancy vibes Lol *

So as i had mentioned in my earlier blog about me crushing hard on a guy he happened to ask me out on a date . We went to the movies. We were holding hands the entire time and then after we went for an early dinner. He then dropped me off and kissed me on my cheeks . It was a perfect day .

Just kidding folks! NOTHING HAPPENED. As a matter of fact i haven’t seen him for almost a month now and seems like my feeling are starting to fade away just like always which is a good sign i guess. But i blame the freakishly long end of semester exam for it . Let’s see where it heads next semester!

Giving details regarding my love life, there is not much to tell. Its not me not opening up there literally isn’t much. As in i have never dated my whole life . Like ever .

I know there is nothing wrong with me like i’m not the type of girl with insecurities . But still what i don’t get is how can i not find a guy to like me . I have tons of guy friends .. more than girls . Maybe that is the problem. I get bro zoned my guy friends very quickly. While texting or even while talking most of my guy friends call me their “Bro”. I’m like their go-to BRO when it comes to giving advises regarding girls. Maybe because of my interests in Guy-stuffs like games and superheroes makes me more of a Bro material than a babe material.

So the guy i’m crushing on still hasn’t made any move. I’m like 90% confident that he is crushing on me from his body languages and the way he talks but still i feel like there is something about me that repels the guys or the guys are just too intimidated by me ALWAYS. Like do they find me too easy or too hard to get? But honestly now that i think it’s the guy that i’m crushing on is the one with problem. I think. He always has his hood on even in the scorching sun as if he is hiding from the world . I tease him a lot for his hood obsession and he to acts coyly when i do. Also he runs away from girls . LITERALLY. I heard that from my friend * the one whose boyfriend is friends with my crush*. But he never does when i’m around. But again when i try to talk to him or just say Hi to him infront of my girl-friends he seems to have an anxiety attack. He is like super comfortable and loud normally but whenever there’s some other girls around he acts like he has to be be somewhere or he doesn’t belong there. I don’t know why but this dual personality of him is what attracted me probably because it made me feel special that he was comfortable when i’m around.

So that’s it for today. Hope you guys are enjoying my blogs .Any type of feedback of you guys will be taken positively and please let me know what you guys think and the things that i need to improve . I know its a bit self absorbed but like i had said in my earlier blogs , ITS ME OPENING UP TO THE WORLD.

Love,

XOXO

 

SURVIVAL 101

Disclaimer : There is a whole lotta swearing to express my strong feelings also I’m PMSing so enjoy !!! 

Okay so i was MIA after my first post because i had my finals and it is stressful AS FUCK. Yes i had to use the capitalized full form just to show my agony towards it . I’m still not done with my finals; done with 3 papers still have 5 more to go thanks to my reckless self in the first half of my college year.  My parents aren’t aware about the whole flunking situation .. sometimes it bothers me not telling them as it is kind of a big deal and sometimes i’m like meh whateves cause ya know a little bit of white lies here and there is what makes us human. I don’t want to wreck my parent’s conception of having a perfect daughter who is nailing in college thanks to my Non Academic awards and medals. 

So nayways, i have a confession to make. I never had much “Friends” until i got in college. I don’t talk to a single person from highchool. I had the super “girly girl” type of friends in highschol with whom i pretended to fit in throughout the four years but deep down i never did.I was more of a pc games , anime ,pokemon kindof girl but i never showed that side to anyone. After i was done with high school , i literally blocked all 4 of the the friends i had from instagram and deleted  my facebook cause i was so fucking done with highschool shits. I didn’t care about the aftermath then but then came the premier of The Fault in our Stars. Lol

My whole ‘clique’ *i don’t want to use the word squad here cause the word didn’t kinda exist then* was obsessed with it and i can’t deny the fact that i was too. So i went to the premier with my only friend i had back then and holy shit it was awkward when i saw them. It was right after the movies ; My eyes were swollen from the whole Augustus died event. Now that i think of the movie , its the dumbest most cliched teen movie ever . Anyways .. i saw them as i was approaching the elevator. They were waiting in line for the elevator as well. I went straight towards the elevator and i told my friend to talk like how much fun we are having in the holidays and stuffs and i did my part to act like they don’t even exist. The whole 30 seconds of the elevator was so damn awkward. There was a whole lot of eye gestures and stuffs but all i thought for the 30 seconds was HOW THE FUCK DID I CRY .. like i’m the kind of girl who rarely cries and that corny piece of shit made me bawl my eyes out … *BTW i got my period a day after so i pretty much blame my hormones for the worthless tears* 

Anyways that was the last time I saw my “Friends”. Then after a few months i joined college. It was so fucking hard to fit in .. like harder than highschool. All these girls were like super girly , into makeup and fashion and then there was “ME”. The social outcast. We have classes super early in the morning. I barely have time to put on proper set of clothes but these girls or should i say “FRIENDS” they even have time to bake their fucking face. Like how the hell do you do that and did god just gave you an extra 2-3 hrs of day cause i am coming to college with half eye open and you come up like straight runway ready. So yea from it was fucking hard for me to fit in at first but slowly i realized i don’t need to look like them to fit it . I can the the goofy one and still be ONE of them. 

I don’t mean to show off but i’m like one of the IT girls in college right now. I joined this club point blank and turns out if you join clubs in college you become popular. And so it began .. the socially awkward potato became and extroverted potato. I consider ME as a potato cause you know potato goes well with everything. Lol . I have been pretending to fit in all my life since middle school .. so why not do it in college as well. I have a whole bunch of “Friends” now and for every group o have different personalities. Some times i feel like i may have personality disorder syndrome . Like when i’m with my girlfriends i’m like all girly girl and talk bitchy stuffs , with the guys at my college club i’m all sporty and talk about sports and with my “Nerdy” computers major friends i’m like technology apps games are bae those kinda talks.  

What i have realized is that for social outcasts like me, survial is very hard. If i hadn’t learnt the whole “change your personality” technique i my have been a total awkward and shy person . I’m still an outcast but i have learnt to fake it untill i’ve made it . 

Thats it for my narssicist blog 

Love you all 

XOXO

DAY-UNO

I have been over thinking a lot about life’s worthless ailments lately. The things that wouldn’t even matter to me have been making me anxious 24/7. I am the type of girl who doesn’t share the things that matter to me the most. Suddenly i realized all these anxiety might be because i share a little to less to people. And thus this blog is born. 

I just turned 20 a month back and have been loving every single day ever since. I have the world’s most amazing parents and friends. Life is going pretty smooth.I’m kind of an entrepreneur ; have my own small business .. I’m doing okay at school .. Life is pretty good. 

The thing that keeps me bothering about life is that, why the fuck am i not able to find LOVE. This have been bothering me a lot lately. Well.. I think the main reason for it is that I’m kind of an anti social bug. Not that i don’t interact with people.. i do . Really . 

What i don’t is use the mainstream social media. I’m kind of a ghost at facebook and instagram. I really don’t use facebook.. i have an account which i had to make because of family obligations. I use it now and then but just to seem polite to my family. And mhy instagram account is all about aesthetics . I don’t even have a clear image of my face on the potraits on my account. Facebook and intagram work as a cupid in today’s dating world.. and i’m kinda backward in both so i guess this explains why i’m single. 

Another reason might be cause i can be judgmental and super rude at sometimes. Just recently a guy i went to highschool with texted me on facebook and i had to wait for 2 whole days to reply to his innocent how you doin text. I replied with a super douchy im ok .. didn’t bother to ask him how he was doing . 

I’m crushing hard on a guy right now.I don’t normally crush on guys but when i do i crush HARD. I don’t leave any platform to stalk them . I work like the FBI when i’m stalking. Like give me a name of some random dude and i’ll find out his mom’s name, his brother’s name, the school he went , if he had an accident on August 2015 and if his mom had a great time in Dubai where she went past November. And just so you know these are all the details i got from stalking my crush and it didn’t even took me 15 min.

The “DUDE” i’m crushing is a very good friend of the guy my friend is dating. We met around 2 months ago in our college’s sports event. He always seems to be flirting with me and me being the pretentious bitch with a i don’t give a fuck attitude don’t even flirt back when he is CLEARLY flirting with me . Something is seriously. wrong with me . Thus my first featured image makes sense to you guys i guess. 

That’s all for today guys. I know this is very random.. but what’s fun in all organized blogs huh *giving an evil smirk*. Will be blogging a lot now . Pardon me if i wasted your time with some bullshits of my life . 

XOXO

 

SURVIVAL 101

Disclaimer : There is a whole lotta swearing to express my strong feelings also I’m PMSing so enjoy !!! 

Okay so i was MIA after my first post because i had my finals and it is stressful AS FUCK. Yes i had to use the capitalized full form just to show my agony towards it . I’m still not done with my finals; done with 3 papers still have 5 more to go thanks to my reckless self in the first half of my college year.  My parents aren’t aware about the whole flunking situation .. sometimes it bothers me not telling them as it is kind of a big deal and sometimes i’m like meh whateves cause ya know a little bit of white lies here and there is what makes us human. I don’t want to wreck my parent’s conception of having a perfect daughter who is nailing in college thanks to my Non Academic awards and medals. 

So nayways, i have a confession to make. I never had much “Friends” until i got in college. I don’t talk to a single person from highchool. I had the super “girly girl” type of friends in highschol with whom i pretended to fit in throughout the four years but deep down i never did.I was more of a pc games , anime ,pokemon kindof girl but i never showed that side to anyone. After i was done with high school , i literally blocked all 4 of the the friends i had from instagram and deleted  my facebook cause i was so fucking done with highschool shits. I didn’t care about the aftermath then but then came the premier of The Fault in our Stars. Lol

My whole ‘clique’ *i don’t want to use the word squad here cause the word didn’t kinda exist then* was obsessed with it and i can’t deny the fact that i was too. So i went to the premier with my only friend i had back then and holy shit it was awkward when i saw them. It was right after the movies ; My eyes were swollen from the whole Augustus died event. Now that i think of the movie , its the dumbest most cliched teen movie ever . Anyways .. i saw them as i was approaching the elevator. They were waiting in line for the elevator as well. I went straight towards the elevator and i told my friend to talk like how much fun we are having in the holidays and stuffs and i did my part to act like they don’t even exist. The whole 30 seconds of the elevator was so damn awkward. There was a whole lot of eye gestures and stuffs but all i thought for the 30 seconds was HOW THE FUCK DID I CRY .. like i’m the kind of girl who rarely cries and that corny piece of shit made me bawl my eyes out … *BTW i got my period a day after so i pretty much blame my hormones for the worthless tears* 

Anyways that was the last time I saw my “Friends”. Then after a few months i joined college. It was so fucking hard to fit in .. like harder than highschool. All these girls were like super girly , into makeup and fashion and then there was “ME”. The social outcast. We have classes super early in the morning. I barely have time to put on proper set of clothes but these girls or should i say “FRIENDS” they even have time to bake their fucking face. Like how the hell do you do that and did god just gave you an extra 2-3 hrs of day cause i am coming to college with half eye open and you come up like straight runway ready. So yea from it was fucking hard for me to fit in at first but slowly i realized i don’t need to look like them to fit it . I can the the goofy one and still be ONE of them. 

I don’t mean to show off but i’m like one of the IT girls in college right now. I joined this club point blank and turns out if you join clubs in college you become popular. And so it began .. the socially awkward potato became and extroverted potato. I consider ME as a potato cause you know potato goes well with everything. Lol . I have been pretending to fit in all my life since middle school .. so why not do it in college as well. I have a whole bunch of “Friends” now and for every group o have different personalities. Some times i feel like i may have personality disorder syndrome . Like when i’m with my girlfriends i’m like all girly girl and talk bitchy stuffs , with the guys at my college club i’m all sporty and talk about sports and with my “Nerdy” computers major friends i’m like technology apps games are bae those kinda talks.  

What i have realized is that for social outcasts like me, survial is very hard. If i hadn’t learnt the whole “change your personality” technique i my have been a total awkward and shy person . I’m still an outcast but i have learnt to fake it untill i’ve made it . 

Thats it for my narssicist blog 

Love you all 

XOXO